Behind Authenticity

This is the first time in months to post as Authentic Digitalife.

I had no idea how come I’ve stuck with this name that came to me 3 years ago,

When I first started my first ever online business as an affiliate marketer,

Without understanding anything about going online 

Just having made my online debut with my first smartphone at the age of 47.

Even though I wanted to give up everything,

Even though I eventually did leave everything behind,

I couldn’t give up on authenticity.

Guess what’s found me this time?

A New Experiment

Almost 2 months into my Human Design experiment as a 6/3 Sacral being,

I’ve started having a glimpse of why Authentic Digitalife came to me

without any knowledge of Human Design.

It’s totally different from what I thought it would be,

And it’s still evolving.

New to the Mind Turns out to be NOT Truly New

My mind thought making money would enable me to give more value to the world.

Let’s start building an online business!

Let’s learn new skills!

That’s what the mind loved and still does.

Fortunately or unfortunately (to the mind)

I’ve had to shatter every bit of what the mind’s conceived of in full power,

In order to live a life as my authentic self.

Through my Strategy and Authority – waiting to respond, do not initiate, Listening to my sacral.

Shattering illusions about who the mind thinks I am, keeps happening as I write.

A Master of Disguise

I had the first shattering 10 years ago after the huge earthquake in Japan,

And I thought I was done with it, letting go of everything imaginable that didn’t serve anybody including myself.

So I welcomed the new – true self.

Without knowing the mind was a master of disguise at that time,

I released a LOT.

But I didn’t know it was just a prelude to the deconditioning process.

That hadn’t even begun back then.

I was ready to get ready.

What Am I? – bis

light black and white nature person

And now, with a cool logic of mechanics that I hated at that time, 

I began my experiment with Human Design.

To know myself.

It sounds like cliche – so familiar to me since I was 1st grader.

I was not interested in any subjects in school, even philosophy, but this.

What am I?

All I can say now is that,

I knew I wouldn’t be satisfied 

As long as I followed someone else’s truths

No matter how logical they seem, how loud they sound to my “heart”

Even if it’s the law of attraction.

My truth has to come from my inner authority.

Which not only lives, but IS my sacral, within my body.

Body Over Mind

How long I’ve been preaching “Listen to your body”

while I haven’t fully implemented it in my life…

I didn’t walk the talk.

I feel hypocrite without beating myself up.

I love my imperfection.

My body is the vehicle that carries me through life,

Synced with the magnetic monopole in my G center, as the driver.

My mind has been heavily influenced by outer authorities,

Believing that it’s in control over my life.

While it’s supposed to be the passenger in the back seat,

It believes that it should drive the vehicle.

By following my Strategy and Authority 

– mystery of the simple yet profound waiting,

I’ve started seeing something that I’ve never thought of as myself, emerging.

Most of times, it’s uncomfortable and even sad,

As parts of what the mind thinks as myself are dying, 

one by one.

Or, sometimes in bulk (ouch)

I’m glad I have no idea what I am and what comes next, yet.

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